Amanda Wilson
2004-10-27 02:43:33 UTC
NYPD Blue Summary/Review by Amanda Wilson aka ***@aol.com
"You're Bugging Me"
Season 12, Episode 5
10/26/04
Teleplay by Greg Plageman
Story by Bill Clark & Greg Plageman
Directed by John Hyams
Before you start bellyaching over PAB, consider all the angles, and note where
the *real* holes are.....but first, a fun little summary:
SUMMARY: Andy is called out of bed by the desk sergeant to go down to a bar and
get Junior out of his cups and into his own apartment where he can pass out in
peace and safety. When Andy arrives, the alcohol has had its intended effect:
Clark acts as if he and Andy never discussed divorce. Andy reaches over, picks
up Clark's keys and offers to take him home. They argue, Clark falls off his
barstool and then follows Andy out the door. They're still screaming at each
other when bullets begin to fly, hitting Andy and knocking him to the ground.
Clark sobers up pretty fast, but can't find the shooter.
Andy isn't seriously wounded, but the entire squad begins investigating the
incident. Rita and Murph talk to the bartender who tells how Clark has been
arguing with several people--mostly over women. He also gives them the name of
a cop who works the door in his off-duty time thinking he'll know something.
Andy returns to work. He doesn't think the shooting is connected to the PAB
incidents, but isn't entirely sure. A group of his AA pals are waiting for him
in the coffee room when he returns to the squad; they were told he'd been out
boozing it up at the bar where he got shot, and he's powerless to get them to
believe he wasn't.
Lt. Bale is in on the shooting investigation as well, and begins with talking
to Clark. Clark tells him that he had a few beers and that he didn't fight with
anyone that night.
Meanwhile, Greg comes up with what turns out to be the key to the whole PAB
mess. He's managed to find out that Andy's credit card number was hijacked by a
private investigator. He doesn't have the PI's name, but knows he works for the
firm that employs Stan Hatcher. Greg thinks this makes Hatcher look good for
the shooting as well.
Bale lets Andy pretty much run his own day for a change. He actually tells Andy
to go home, but Andy says he'll do some paperwork after he runs out to get a
prescription. Bale tells him he can do whatever he needs to do as long as he
spends a few minutes with IAB on the shooting.
Clark tries to tell Andy he feels bad about the shooting, but Andy is thinking
of other things. He takes off to Hatcher's PI firm. While there, he asks the
receptionist a few questions about the camera system installed there, wanting
to know where it was purchased. Stan welcomes him in an unusually friendly way.
He feigns shock that someone at his firm misused Andy's card number and
suggests there could be several legit reasons his firm obtained the number.
After telling Andy the information is confidential, he promises Andy he'll look
into it as a personal favor.
Andy spends some time with Martens of IAB. Bale looks over his shoulder the
whole time. He tells the story of the shooting, but makes sure he protects
Clark by saying he was not drunk. Bale also denies knowledge of Clark
misbehaving, but assures Martens that if there is any police misconduct, he'll
report it.
The cop who works the door of the bar talks to Rita and Murph. He tells them
Clark has had a couple of fights over women, including one that very night.
Clark was making out with a chick when some guy walked in and tried to drag her
out of there. The cop had to step in before it got ugly.
Rita and Murph ask Clark about it. He's not happy they're investigating, and
tells them there was nothing to it. When they tell him they have to
investigate, he snaps to for a minute and digs in his pocket for the girl's
phone number. After fumbling through several little slips of paper, cards and
torn up cocktail napkins with phone numbers he extracts the one he thinks is
the most recent and hands it over to Rita as he walks away. Rita clearly
wonders how in God's name she ever fell for this guy.
Andy checks out the security shop where Stan's firm got the security cameras.
He's really there because he wants to know who bought the bug that was found in
his car. He threatens the owner with court orders and charges for various
things if he doesn't reveal that information. The owner doesn't buy it. He
knows better. He asks Andy politely not to try to intimidate him. Andy pauses,
then tries a completely new tactic: the truth. He tells the story about Theo's
kidnapping. The owner promises to dig up the information ASAP.
Clark's most recent squeeze, Christine, is brought in to the house. Rita and
Murph get from her that she met Clark, but she swears she doesn't have a
boyfriend who dragged her out. She does, however, finally admit that it was her
father who dragged her out of there. She's underage. Clark sees all this from
behind the mirror and his shame is intensified by the fact that Bale is
standing there watching as well.
Andy's pal at the bug shop gives him the name of a mechanic named Bert who
bought the bug. This time, Andy's threats work: Bert admits he installed the
bug for Hatcher. He says he did it to work of a five-thousand dollar PI debt.
The number seems high to Andy, so he presses for what else Bert did. Bert
admits kidnapping Theo for Stan, but says Stan told him it was all part of a
plan to test a surveillance system and that "the kid's" mother knew all about
it.
The bartender, meanwhile, comes back to the squad to tell a story he'd
forgotten about earlier. He remembers that not long ago, there was a little
nerdy dude in the bar trying to make time with a cool, leggy, blonde. He was
buying her drinks and dinner and trying to do her taxes or sell her insurance
or something. He'd made quite an investment in her when nature called and he
had to leave her alone for a few minutes. During that time, Clark moved in like
"a panzer division" and wooed the girl away. Nerdy dude returned and tried to
reassert his claim, but Junior and blondie ignored him and glided out of the
bar together on a platinum rail to the promised land (her apartment). Anyway,
Nerdy dude showed up again last night at the bar. He didn't make trouble, but
seeing him reminded the bartender that last time he looked pretty devastated.
For the second time, Clark's colleagues have to ask him to cough up the name of
some sleazy barfly he nailed (or tried to). His memory is a little more fuzzy
on this one, but he finally gets what he thinks is her name. He remembers a
little more accurately where she lives, and from this, Greg and Baldwin find
her.
Andy, meanwhile, takes the information he's learned and an untraceable gun, and
kidnaps Stan. He drives Stan to a remote location, holds a gun to his neck and
explains how he will kill Stan. Stan isn't sure if this is going to happen
right away. After scaring the wet stuff out of Stan, Andy tells him that if he
ever does anything to anyone in Andy's family again, Andy will kill him. Andy
gets back in his car and leaves Stan kneeling in the mean street.
Next day, Blondie arrives at the 1-5 and is pretty happy to see her old f-buddy
Johnny. That is until it dawns on her that he has no idea what her last name
is. She's not too upset, though, and goes back to talk to Greg and Baldwin. In
order to give them Nerdy Dude's phone number, she ends up sorting through
nearly as many slips of paper and cards as Johnny had earlier. What a couple o'
sluts.
Andy isn't at work long when Bale tells him IAB needs to see him right away.
Naturally, Bale feels the urgent need to tag along. The two of them sit in a
room with Martens and listen to a tape of Andy threatening to kill Stan. Andy
gets a chance to explain what Stan has been up to. Still, Bale and Martens tell
him he could face charges and lose his job. Bale asks Martens to sit on the
tape for 24 hours.
Nerdy Dude comes in to talk to Greg and Baldwin. His name is Larry. He tries
very, very hard to make these two men believe he is a play-ah. Yes, he tries to
convince Baldwin, who could have virtually any woman he wanted, and Greg, who
knows all too well what a play-ah is and what a play-ah isn't. Larry does not
succeed, not even when he tells Greg he dated a Hooters waitress and that *he*
dumped *her!* When confronted with the story of how he lost blondie, he tries
at first to make them think he actually nailed her, then he denies there was
another guy there. In the middle of this pathetic display, Baldwin leaves to
bring an eyewitness to the door. It's PAA John holding his coat and acting
shocked to see Larry. He stammers--afraid--but admits that's the guy he saw
firing shots outside the bar that night. The ruse works. Larry's eyes grow
wider with every word and nearly pop when Baldwin informs him the man he shot
was a cop. He explains that he hates being ignored. He went back to the bar
that night thinking that maybe this girl wasn't the cheap, icy, whore she
really was and that maybe, just maybe, she was sitting there at the bar
wondering what happened to him. She wasn't there, but he did see the smug
bastard who swooped in and took her away. And what was this prick doing? He was
mauling another chick. Larry went home, got his gun, and waiting until Clark
walked out of the bar. Larry gasps as he asks how about the condition of the
officer he shot. When Greg tells him he's going to be OK, Larry's sigh of
relief is choked by sobs. He apologizes and cries like a baby. Clark looks on
from behind the mirror, humiliated and looking like a first-class bastard.
Bale isn't there to witness Clark's latest shame. He's down visiting Stan's
uncle the chief. Stan is there, too, looking for all the world like the wounded
party. Bale tells the chief the entire, sordid story. Stan whines that Andy
threatened to kill him, but that doesn't fly in light of his multiple felonies
and the fact that he trapped Andy into the tape. Bale suggests the tape be made
to go away on the condition that no charges will be filed against Stan. Stan
blows up. He screams how he wants to take Andy down once and for all. His uncle
tells him to shut up, and then reminds him that if he pushes the thing, Andy
would probably lose his job, but Stan would end up locked up for a decade or
more. Uncle tells Stan that he's going to leave NYC forever, move to his firm's
Miami office and never talk to Andy again.
Bale returns to the squad. His first order of business: giving Junior a
spanking. Clark obeys Bale's summons into his office. Bale reminds him that he
nearly got his partner killed. Bale tells him he'll get transferred if there's
one more story about him whoring around, coming to work hungover or drunk.
Shamed, Clark says only, "Yes, sir."
Andy walks into Bale's office seconds later. Bale explains the deal with
Hatcher and then tells Andy he can leave. Andy starts to go, but then stops and
expresses his appreciation to Bale. This olive branch is snatched from Andy's
hands and quickly snapped in two when Bale tells him clearly that if Andy ever
fails to follow rules again (i.e., not obeying when Bale told him to stay out
of the PAB investigation), he'll find himself off the force a lot sooner than
he expected. He tells Andy he doesn't want his appreciation. He wants his rules
followed. He says also that it make him sick to have to broker the deal he made
on Andy's behalf, and warns Andy not to think for even a second that they've
reach some kind of understanding.
While Bale continues charming Andy in the above manner, Clark tries to find a
friend. Any friend. He wants Baldwin to go to the gym or to dinner with him.
He's apparently forgotten the crappy little "slave" comment he made earlier
(see below), but Baldwin hasn't. Baldwin tells Clark his behavior is
disrespectful and that he's not been the best company lately. Andy comes in a
bit later, while Clark is at his lowest and staring into the black hole that is
his locker. Sheepishly, he asks Andy if he's started the paperwork on the
divorce. Andy says no. Clark asks if Andy could hold off a bit, and maybe give
him another chance. Andy agrees. Clark seems a little surprised. Andy leaves
and Clark shuts his locker door.
REVIEW: Is anyone surprised the man behind PAB is Hatcher? No, of course not,
and you shouldn't be. I think after the first couple of episodes dealing with
this arc, that was no longer important. What was surprising was how Hatcher
finally fell. If there's any credit to be handed out for the nice way this
ended, it goes to the crafty use of our new Lt. and to the man who played that
role.
Before I get to that, however, I feel compelled to point out the stark fact
that this arc had some really serious holes. For example, why Andy walked away
from the man who kidnapped his son instead of arresting him. And why no one
noticed Stan creeping up the stairs to poison the fish (or, if it wasn't Stan,
why Andy didn't endeavor to find the *other* accomplice). These are the kinds
of holes that sink ships for some people, and if you're one of those people, I
guess I can't blame you for lamenting the credibility you're used to. But
before you take off, consider the new Lieu for a few minutes.
Bale is a wonderful character. He's creepy. He's a jerk. He's rude. He's a
major buttkisser. And I absolutely love him from the top of his AquaNet head,
straight through his chewy little heart and right down to his pointy,
spit-shined shoes. I'm certain that were I able to transport myself from
Audience Land into his imaginary world to buy him a congratulatory lunch, he'd
find a way to have me arrested for showing up without an appointment.
Part of what makes Bale such a great character is that he's something
completely foreign to the culture of the squad, and that makes him
unpredictable. He's rule-bound, tightly wound, and probably about as
emotionally secure as a zit-faced teenager at the prom. I imagine he used to
lie awake at night sweating over his lack of skill as a cop. Then there was the
day he decided that if he followed all the rules, just like Joe Friday, he'd
never have to fear making a mistake. Bale is convinced he's right. His conflict
is that he lives in a black and white world but that no one else does. Only
right now, he doesn't even know it. Bale refuses to see complexity in things.
He defies complexity. The fun of it is that sometimes, he is right. He was
right on the money with Junior, for example. But when it came to doing the
right thing for Andy, he was repulsed by the complexity of it and used it to
threaten Andy. Look at what's different. Blue's pattern--the formula I hear
many of you complaining about--would have been Bale begrudgingly helps Andy,
Andy begrudgingly thanks him and an uneasy peace ensues. Did that happen? Not
only no, but hell no! Bale helps Andy, Andy thanks him, and a fight erupts that
has Bale threatening for the third time to toss Andy out on his ass.
Another part of what makes Bale so good is the actor playing him. Currie Graham
nails that guy in every scene. The way he talks, the way he walks, the way his
eyes seems to shrink up: every inch of him goes to illustrate Bale as the
square peg who's determined to make that round hole fit him, but he also plays
a layer of desperation under all that control. With Clark, he was forceful,
sure. That was a clear cut situation. With Andy, he was more angry--perhaps
even fearful that his perfect order might be upset--and in defense, he had to
blurt out how he lives by rules and how, by God, everyone else is going to do
that, too.
So, Bale admits he's rule-bound, clings to it openly, and threatens to destroy
anyone who doesn't toe his line, but he's not living in a world where things
are that simple. If the writers keep that conflict alive rather than throwing
us a weekly list of Bale's rules, we've got something.
Back to Bale and Clark: great scene from the standpoint of the Bale character.
Not such a great scene from the standpoint of the Clark character (though it
was one of MPG's standout scenes, which I'll get to in a minute.) The problem
I have here is that this cannot be the thing that snaps Clark back into
reality. Yeah, he got spanked, he deserved it, but the boy was out drinking
and trying to catch the crabs for a *reason.* If getting Andy shot up and
almost losing his own career weren't enough to wake him up, how the hell is a
good talking-to from the boss going to do it? Junior needs to deal with the
troubles he's got. He needs something more than Bale to wise him up. I have my
doubts on this score. After all, I still can't figure out why a prosecutor
would take such a major hit for a drunk, 'ho-dog cop who ruined her murder
case, or why Andy wouldn't be a little more pissed off about how close his kids
were to being fatherless on account of Junior's...uh...junior, if you know what
I mean and I think you do.
That said, I think MPG is doing a great job with this. He had three stand-out
moments. One was the scene where he watched Larry's confession through the
mirror. This was aided in large part by the actor playing Larry (Tony
Colitti), who had me feeling sorry for Larry in spite of the fact that he shot
Our Hero Andy. (It was the way his sigh of relief on hearing the cop he shot
was going to be OK was broken up by his mournful sobs--excellent!). So I'm
watching Larry, then I see MPG sunk low into Junior's guilt and shame, and the
word "bastard!" comes to mind. Two was the scene with Bale. After making a
lame attempt to defend himself, Junior crumbles under Bale's correction. MPG's
face went from a liar's defiance to sagging defeat in 0.2. Three was the scene
in the locker room. He stands friendless, peering into the dark of his locker
(where he seems to be thinking the ghosts of decidedly better men linger), and
from this place he limps verbally back to Andy to ask for another chance. He
had Junior all over the map emotionally tonight. Oh, and the man falls from a
barstool like he was born to it.
And our Jackie O. had a stand-out moment. It was less than a moment, actually,
but it's worth rolling back the tape to catch it if you missed it. It's the
scene where Junior shuffles through ripped cocktail napkins, condom wrappers,
whatever it is he's got in his pocket, for the phone number of his latest
conquest. He finds it, lays it casually on Rita's palm and says while walking
away, "I think that's the one from last night." Her face at that moment is
amazing. It's only a profile, but you can see her recalling how she once loved
him and saying to herself now, "What the hell was I thinking?"
Another scene I liked a whole lot was the one with the store owner. Andy goes
in and tries his usual tactic--a threat--and it doesn't work. He pauses, then
tries a new tactic--the truth--and doors open. Of course, he's back to being a
tough guy with Bert who, in spite of his decision to spend $5k uncovering his
wife's infidelities, wouldn't respond to truth unless it threatened to rip his
legs off.
QUICK HITS:
*When Clark makes that slavery comment to Greg, wouldn't it have been fun if
Baldwin had just thrown down for one minute and said the TV-MA version of "What
the fuck is wrong with you, Clark?"
*Hats off to the leggy blonde (Samantha Smith) who played the leggy blonde. She
was the perfect combination of icy, slutty power whom women the world over
hate/admire and whom men truly hate except between 7pm-8am weekends. I loved
how she coolly noted Johnny's inability to recall her last name--her mind
briefly circled his mistake considering whether to throw a cold bolt of
lightening in his general direction, then cast it off without care, deciding
that she'd already gotten all the pleasure she wanted out of him. She then
sauntered on in to the coffee room and fished her well-stocked purse for Nerdy
Dude's phone number just as Clark had earlier fished his pocket. Well played!
*Did anyone else catch that the evil Stan Hatcher was exiled to Miami, home of
David Caruso's current TV persona? Coincidence? You decide.
*I spied a bit of blonde (looked like a wig) hair in Andy's bed and heard a
faint, female cry of annoyance when the phone rang. I issued a rather less
faint female cry of annoyance at that and wondered why Andy couldn't have been
instead laying in a supply of 2am diapers when his cell phone rang.
*Medavoy! A little action for him tonight. He handled Larry perfectly. When
Larry asked, "Why am I not a player?" I expected Greg to respond, "Because I'm
not a player, and it takes one to know one."
*I'm also very happy Greg was not impressed by Larry's claim to have dumped a
Hooter's waitress. (Is that supposed to be impressive?)
*I am now terrified of AA people. Why wouldn't they believe him? For a minute
there, I thought Andy was stuck in an episode of Green Acres.
*Theo is 8, and Andy's never heard of Jessica Simpson. Is that possible? How
about this, Andy's partner is 28, and Andy's never heard of Jessica Simpson.
Hell, Andy's 50, Connie's 30 and....oh forget it.
CAST LEGACIES by Jiffy Lube Garner who says: J.L. (nope, not Jerry Lewis)
Garner:
Previously on NYPD Blue:
Scott Allan Campbell as Martens, Scott William Winters as Stan Hatcher, Michael
Potter as Chief Don Hatcher.
Previously on NYPD Blue as someone else:
Mari Weiss (Norma) -- played a doctor in Season 5's "It Takes a Village." Since
then, she's also been on "X-Files," "City of Angels," and a lot of voice work
for cartoons and video games
Joe Maruzzo (Burt Suervo) -- appeared in Season 6's "Raphael's Inferno" and
Season 4's "Unembraceable You." He also played Joe Peeps on "The Sopranos," and
had a role in the recent season premiere of "Enterprise"
Not previously on NYPD Blue:
Ed O'Ross (Scott Garvin) -- character actor whose TV credits include "The
Handler," "Six Feet Under," "Chicago Hope," "Seinfeld," "Frasier," and the
cartoon show "Men In Black." He's also appeared in movies like "Dick Tracy"
(Itchy), "Full Metal Jacket" (Lt. Touchdown), "Lethal Weapon," and "The Cotton
Club"
Dean Hill (Al) -- he's played on "JAG," "ER," "L.A. Law," and "Night Court," as
well as a role in Jack Nicholson's "Chinatown" sequel "The Two Jakes," and as
one of the Illinois Nazis in "The Blues Brothers"
Fitz Houston (Chuck) -- you've seen him on "JAG," "Robbery Homicide Division,"
"Philly," "Judging Amy," "Seinfeld," and "X-Files"Brian Goodman (Mickey Cole)
-- has appeared on "24," "Boomtown," and "Line of Fire," as well as the films
"Catch Me If You Can," "The Last Castle," and "Blow"
Richard Fancy (Howard Seigal) -- he's got a very long resume, including roles
on "General Hospital" and "It's Garry Shandling's Show," guest spots on "The
District," "West Wing," "ER," "ST: Voyager," 'L.A. Law," and "ST: Next
Generation," and roles in the films "The Girl Next Door," "Being John
Malkovich," "Nixon," "And the Band Played On," and "Tango & Cash"
Samaire Armstrong (Christine) -- she's had a recurring role on "The O.C.," as
well as guest spots on "Judging Amy," "X-Files," and "ER," and a role in "Not
Another Teen Movie"
Samantha Smith (Corrine O'Malley) -- other roles include guest appearances on
"Dead Like Me," "Philly," "Just Shoot Me," "Dark Angel," and "The Pretender"
Tony Colitti (Larry Mytelka) -- he's appeared on "Monk," "Nip/Tuck," "Judging
Amy," 'Seinfeld," "L.A. Law," "China Beach," and "thirtysomething"
Jonah Hill (clerk) -- has a role in the new film "I Heart Huckabees"
Cheryl Francis Harrington (receptionist) -- had a recurring role as a bailiff
on "Philly," as well as roles on "Boston Public," "X-Files," "The District,"
"The Sheild," and "L.A. Law"
Jamie Foss (female friend) -- she was the winner of The WB's "Superstar USA," a
sort of Bizarro-world spoof of American Idol, where the worst performer wins,
but is made to labor under the delusion that they can actually sing.
LINES OF THE WEEK:
Junior, in a slut glut but confidently remembering the blonde: "Yeah, I
remember. Her name was Corrine." (pause) "Or Collette."
Hatcher introducing his girl-child friend: "Andy Sipowicz, Jessica Simpson."
Andy: "How do you do?"
NEXT WEEK: Andy beats the crap out of a couple of politicians, Clark sleeps
with the old first lady, the new first lady and four political daughters in
43.4 minutes, and Phone John is elected president.
THE WEEK AFTER: Blue returns November 9th with the first post-election 2004
episode.
Get out and vote!
(Unless you're not an American, in which case, I vote you have a nice day)
And everyone, visit Alan's site:
http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~sepinwal/nypd.html
Thanks!
Amanda Wilson
"You're Bugging Me"
Season 12, Episode 5
10/26/04
Teleplay by Greg Plageman
Story by Bill Clark & Greg Plageman
Directed by John Hyams
Before you start bellyaching over PAB, consider all the angles, and note where
the *real* holes are.....but first, a fun little summary:
SUMMARY: Andy is called out of bed by the desk sergeant to go down to a bar and
get Junior out of his cups and into his own apartment where he can pass out in
peace and safety. When Andy arrives, the alcohol has had its intended effect:
Clark acts as if he and Andy never discussed divorce. Andy reaches over, picks
up Clark's keys and offers to take him home. They argue, Clark falls off his
barstool and then follows Andy out the door. They're still screaming at each
other when bullets begin to fly, hitting Andy and knocking him to the ground.
Clark sobers up pretty fast, but can't find the shooter.
Andy isn't seriously wounded, but the entire squad begins investigating the
incident. Rita and Murph talk to the bartender who tells how Clark has been
arguing with several people--mostly over women. He also gives them the name of
a cop who works the door in his off-duty time thinking he'll know something.
Andy returns to work. He doesn't think the shooting is connected to the PAB
incidents, but isn't entirely sure. A group of his AA pals are waiting for him
in the coffee room when he returns to the squad; they were told he'd been out
boozing it up at the bar where he got shot, and he's powerless to get them to
believe he wasn't.
Lt. Bale is in on the shooting investigation as well, and begins with talking
to Clark. Clark tells him that he had a few beers and that he didn't fight with
anyone that night.
Meanwhile, Greg comes up with what turns out to be the key to the whole PAB
mess. He's managed to find out that Andy's credit card number was hijacked by a
private investigator. He doesn't have the PI's name, but knows he works for the
firm that employs Stan Hatcher. Greg thinks this makes Hatcher look good for
the shooting as well.
Bale lets Andy pretty much run his own day for a change. He actually tells Andy
to go home, but Andy says he'll do some paperwork after he runs out to get a
prescription. Bale tells him he can do whatever he needs to do as long as he
spends a few minutes with IAB on the shooting.
Clark tries to tell Andy he feels bad about the shooting, but Andy is thinking
of other things. He takes off to Hatcher's PI firm. While there, he asks the
receptionist a few questions about the camera system installed there, wanting
to know where it was purchased. Stan welcomes him in an unusually friendly way.
He feigns shock that someone at his firm misused Andy's card number and
suggests there could be several legit reasons his firm obtained the number.
After telling Andy the information is confidential, he promises Andy he'll look
into it as a personal favor.
Andy spends some time with Martens of IAB. Bale looks over his shoulder the
whole time. He tells the story of the shooting, but makes sure he protects
Clark by saying he was not drunk. Bale also denies knowledge of Clark
misbehaving, but assures Martens that if there is any police misconduct, he'll
report it.
The cop who works the door of the bar talks to Rita and Murph. He tells them
Clark has had a couple of fights over women, including one that very night.
Clark was making out with a chick when some guy walked in and tried to drag her
out of there. The cop had to step in before it got ugly.
Rita and Murph ask Clark about it. He's not happy they're investigating, and
tells them there was nothing to it. When they tell him they have to
investigate, he snaps to for a minute and digs in his pocket for the girl's
phone number. After fumbling through several little slips of paper, cards and
torn up cocktail napkins with phone numbers he extracts the one he thinks is
the most recent and hands it over to Rita as he walks away. Rita clearly
wonders how in God's name she ever fell for this guy.
Andy checks out the security shop where Stan's firm got the security cameras.
He's really there because he wants to know who bought the bug that was found in
his car. He threatens the owner with court orders and charges for various
things if he doesn't reveal that information. The owner doesn't buy it. He
knows better. He asks Andy politely not to try to intimidate him. Andy pauses,
then tries a completely new tactic: the truth. He tells the story about Theo's
kidnapping. The owner promises to dig up the information ASAP.
Clark's most recent squeeze, Christine, is brought in to the house. Rita and
Murph get from her that she met Clark, but she swears she doesn't have a
boyfriend who dragged her out. She does, however, finally admit that it was her
father who dragged her out of there. She's underage. Clark sees all this from
behind the mirror and his shame is intensified by the fact that Bale is
standing there watching as well.
Andy's pal at the bug shop gives him the name of a mechanic named Bert who
bought the bug. This time, Andy's threats work: Bert admits he installed the
bug for Hatcher. He says he did it to work of a five-thousand dollar PI debt.
The number seems high to Andy, so he presses for what else Bert did. Bert
admits kidnapping Theo for Stan, but says Stan told him it was all part of a
plan to test a surveillance system and that "the kid's" mother knew all about
it.
The bartender, meanwhile, comes back to the squad to tell a story he'd
forgotten about earlier. He remembers that not long ago, there was a little
nerdy dude in the bar trying to make time with a cool, leggy, blonde. He was
buying her drinks and dinner and trying to do her taxes or sell her insurance
or something. He'd made quite an investment in her when nature called and he
had to leave her alone for a few minutes. During that time, Clark moved in like
"a panzer division" and wooed the girl away. Nerdy dude returned and tried to
reassert his claim, but Junior and blondie ignored him and glided out of the
bar together on a platinum rail to the promised land (her apartment). Anyway,
Nerdy dude showed up again last night at the bar. He didn't make trouble, but
seeing him reminded the bartender that last time he looked pretty devastated.
For the second time, Clark's colleagues have to ask him to cough up the name of
some sleazy barfly he nailed (or tried to). His memory is a little more fuzzy
on this one, but he finally gets what he thinks is her name. He remembers a
little more accurately where she lives, and from this, Greg and Baldwin find
her.
Andy, meanwhile, takes the information he's learned and an untraceable gun, and
kidnaps Stan. He drives Stan to a remote location, holds a gun to his neck and
explains how he will kill Stan. Stan isn't sure if this is going to happen
right away. After scaring the wet stuff out of Stan, Andy tells him that if he
ever does anything to anyone in Andy's family again, Andy will kill him. Andy
gets back in his car and leaves Stan kneeling in the mean street.
Next day, Blondie arrives at the 1-5 and is pretty happy to see her old f-buddy
Johnny. That is until it dawns on her that he has no idea what her last name
is. She's not too upset, though, and goes back to talk to Greg and Baldwin. In
order to give them Nerdy Dude's phone number, she ends up sorting through
nearly as many slips of paper and cards as Johnny had earlier. What a couple o'
sluts.
Andy isn't at work long when Bale tells him IAB needs to see him right away.
Naturally, Bale feels the urgent need to tag along. The two of them sit in a
room with Martens and listen to a tape of Andy threatening to kill Stan. Andy
gets a chance to explain what Stan has been up to. Still, Bale and Martens tell
him he could face charges and lose his job. Bale asks Martens to sit on the
tape for 24 hours.
Nerdy Dude comes in to talk to Greg and Baldwin. His name is Larry. He tries
very, very hard to make these two men believe he is a play-ah. Yes, he tries to
convince Baldwin, who could have virtually any woman he wanted, and Greg, who
knows all too well what a play-ah is and what a play-ah isn't. Larry does not
succeed, not even when he tells Greg he dated a Hooters waitress and that *he*
dumped *her!* When confronted with the story of how he lost blondie, he tries
at first to make them think he actually nailed her, then he denies there was
another guy there. In the middle of this pathetic display, Baldwin leaves to
bring an eyewitness to the door. It's PAA John holding his coat and acting
shocked to see Larry. He stammers--afraid--but admits that's the guy he saw
firing shots outside the bar that night. The ruse works. Larry's eyes grow
wider with every word and nearly pop when Baldwin informs him the man he shot
was a cop. He explains that he hates being ignored. He went back to the bar
that night thinking that maybe this girl wasn't the cheap, icy, whore she
really was and that maybe, just maybe, she was sitting there at the bar
wondering what happened to him. She wasn't there, but he did see the smug
bastard who swooped in and took her away. And what was this prick doing? He was
mauling another chick. Larry went home, got his gun, and waiting until Clark
walked out of the bar. Larry gasps as he asks how about the condition of the
officer he shot. When Greg tells him he's going to be OK, Larry's sigh of
relief is choked by sobs. He apologizes and cries like a baby. Clark looks on
from behind the mirror, humiliated and looking like a first-class bastard.
Bale isn't there to witness Clark's latest shame. He's down visiting Stan's
uncle the chief. Stan is there, too, looking for all the world like the wounded
party. Bale tells the chief the entire, sordid story. Stan whines that Andy
threatened to kill him, but that doesn't fly in light of his multiple felonies
and the fact that he trapped Andy into the tape. Bale suggests the tape be made
to go away on the condition that no charges will be filed against Stan. Stan
blows up. He screams how he wants to take Andy down once and for all. His uncle
tells him to shut up, and then reminds him that if he pushes the thing, Andy
would probably lose his job, but Stan would end up locked up for a decade or
more. Uncle tells Stan that he's going to leave NYC forever, move to his firm's
Miami office and never talk to Andy again.
Bale returns to the squad. His first order of business: giving Junior a
spanking. Clark obeys Bale's summons into his office. Bale reminds him that he
nearly got his partner killed. Bale tells him he'll get transferred if there's
one more story about him whoring around, coming to work hungover or drunk.
Shamed, Clark says only, "Yes, sir."
Andy walks into Bale's office seconds later. Bale explains the deal with
Hatcher and then tells Andy he can leave. Andy starts to go, but then stops and
expresses his appreciation to Bale. This olive branch is snatched from Andy's
hands and quickly snapped in two when Bale tells him clearly that if Andy ever
fails to follow rules again (i.e., not obeying when Bale told him to stay out
of the PAB investigation), he'll find himself off the force a lot sooner than
he expected. He tells Andy he doesn't want his appreciation. He wants his rules
followed. He says also that it make him sick to have to broker the deal he made
on Andy's behalf, and warns Andy not to think for even a second that they've
reach some kind of understanding.
While Bale continues charming Andy in the above manner, Clark tries to find a
friend. Any friend. He wants Baldwin to go to the gym or to dinner with him.
He's apparently forgotten the crappy little "slave" comment he made earlier
(see below), but Baldwin hasn't. Baldwin tells Clark his behavior is
disrespectful and that he's not been the best company lately. Andy comes in a
bit later, while Clark is at his lowest and staring into the black hole that is
his locker. Sheepishly, he asks Andy if he's started the paperwork on the
divorce. Andy says no. Clark asks if Andy could hold off a bit, and maybe give
him another chance. Andy agrees. Clark seems a little surprised. Andy leaves
and Clark shuts his locker door.
REVIEW: Is anyone surprised the man behind PAB is Hatcher? No, of course not,
and you shouldn't be. I think after the first couple of episodes dealing with
this arc, that was no longer important. What was surprising was how Hatcher
finally fell. If there's any credit to be handed out for the nice way this
ended, it goes to the crafty use of our new Lt. and to the man who played that
role.
Before I get to that, however, I feel compelled to point out the stark fact
that this arc had some really serious holes. For example, why Andy walked away
from the man who kidnapped his son instead of arresting him. And why no one
noticed Stan creeping up the stairs to poison the fish (or, if it wasn't Stan,
why Andy didn't endeavor to find the *other* accomplice). These are the kinds
of holes that sink ships for some people, and if you're one of those people, I
guess I can't blame you for lamenting the credibility you're used to. But
before you take off, consider the new Lieu for a few minutes.
Bale is a wonderful character. He's creepy. He's a jerk. He's rude. He's a
major buttkisser. And I absolutely love him from the top of his AquaNet head,
straight through his chewy little heart and right down to his pointy,
spit-shined shoes. I'm certain that were I able to transport myself from
Audience Land into his imaginary world to buy him a congratulatory lunch, he'd
find a way to have me arrested for showing up without an appointment.
Part of what makes Bale such a great character is that he's something
completely foreign to the culture of the squad, and that makes him
unpredictable. He's rule-bound, tightly wound, and probably about as
emotionally secure as a zit-faced teenager at the prom. I imagine he used to
lie awake at night sweating over his lack of skill as a cop. Then there was the
day he decided that if he followed all the rules, just like Joe Friday, he'd
never have to fear making a mistake. Bale is convinced he's right. His conflict
is that he lives in a black and white world but that no one else does. Only
right now, he doesn't even know it. Bale refuses to see complexity in things.
He defies complexity. The fun of it is that sometimes, he is right. He was
right on the money with Junior, for example. But when it came to doing the
right thing for Andy, he was repulsed by the complexity of it and used it to
threaten Andy. Look at what's different. Blue's pattern--the formula I hear
many of you complaining about--would have been Bale begrudgingly helps Andy,
Andy begrudgingly thanks him and an uneasy peace ensues. Did that happen? Not
only no, but hell no! Bale helps Andy, Andy thanks him, and a fight erupts that
has Bale threatening for the third time to toss Andy out on his ass.
Another part of what makes Bale so good is the actor playing him. Currie Graham
nails that guy in every scene. The way he talks, the way he walks, the way his
eyes seems to shrink up: every inch of him goes to illustrate Bale as the
square peg who's determined to make that round hole fit him, but he also plays
a layer of desperation under all that control. With Clark, he was forceful,
sure. That was a clear cut situation. With Andy, he was more angry--perhaps
even fearful that his perfect order might be upset--and in defense, he had to
blurt out how he lives by rules and how, by God, everyone else is going to do
that, too.
So, Bale admits he's rule-bound, clings to it openly, and threatens to destroy
anyone who doesn't toe his line, but he's not living in a world where things
are that simple. If the writers keep that conflict alive rather than throwing
us a weekly list of Bale's rules, we've got something.
Back to Bale and Clark: great scene from the standpoint of the Bale character.
Not such a great scene from the standpoint of the Clark character (though it
was one of MPG's standout scenes, which I'll get to in a minute.) The problem
I have here is that this cannot be the thing that snaps Clark back into
reality. Yeah, he got spanked, he deserved it, but the boy was out drinking
and trying to catch the crabs for a *reason.* If getting Andy shot up and
almost losing his own career weren't enough to wake him up, how the hell is a
good talking-to from the boss going to do it? Junior needs to deal with the
troubles he's got. He needs something more than Bale to wise him up. I have my
doubts on this score. After all, I still can't figure out why a prosecutor
would take such a major hit for a drunk, 'ho-dog cop who ruined her murder
case, or why Andy wouldn't be a little more pissed off about how close his kids
were to being fatherless on account of Junior's...uh...junior, if you know what
I mean and I think you do.
That said, I think MPG is doing a great job with this. He had three stand-out
moments. One was the scene where he watched Larry's confession through the
mirror. This was aided in large part by the actor playing Larry (Tony
Colitti), who had me feeling sorry for Larry in spite of the fact that he shot
Our Hero Andy. (It was the way his sigh of relief on hearing the cop he shot
was going to be OK was broken up by his mournful sobs--excellent!). So I'm
watching Larry, then I see MPG sunk low into Junior's guilt and shame, and the
word "bastard!" comes to mind. Two was the scene with Bale. After making a
lame attempt to defend himself, Junior crumbles under Bale's correction. MPG's
face went from a liar's defiance to sagging defeat in 0.2. Three was the scene
in the locker room. He stands friendless, peering into the dark of his locker
(where he seems to be thinking the ghosts of decidedly better men linger), and
from this place he limps verbally back to Andy to ask for another chance. He
had Junior all over the map emotionally tonight. Oh, and the man falls from a
barstool like he was born to it.
And our Jackie O. had a stand-out moment. It was less than a moment, actually,
but it's worth rolling back the tape to catch it if you missed it. It's the
scene where Junior shuffles through ripped cocktail napkins, condom wrappers,
whatever it is he's got in his pocket, for the phone number of his latest
conquest. He finds it, lays it casually on Rita's palm and says while walking
away, "I think that's the one from last night." Her face at that moment is
amazing. It's only a profile, but you can see her recalling how she once loved
him and saying to herself now, "What the hell was I thinking?"
Another scene I liked a whole lot was the one with the store owner. Andy goes
in and tries his usual tactic--a threat--and it doesn't work. He pauses, then
tries a new tactic--the truth--and doors open. Of course, he's back to being a
tough guy with Bert who, in spite of his decision to spend $5k uncovering his
wife's infidelities, wouldn't respond to truth unless it threatened to rip his
legs off.
QUICK HITS:
*When Clark makes that slavery comment to Greg, wouldn't it have been fun if
Baldwin had just thrown down for one minute and said the TV-MA version of "What
the fuck is wrong with you, Clark?"
*Hats off to the leggy blonde (Samantha Smith) who played the leggy blonde. She
was the perfect combination of icy, slutty power whom women the world over
hate/admire and whom men truly hate except between 7pm-8am weekends. I loved
how she coolly noted Johnny's inability to recall her last name--her mind
briefly circled his mistake considering whether to throw a cold bolt of
lightening in his general direction, then cast it off without care, deciding
that she'd already gotten all the pleasure she wanted out of him. She then
sauntered on in to the coffee room and fished her well-stocked purse for Nerdy
Dude's phone number just as Clark had earlier fished his pocket. Well played!
*Did anyone else catch that the evil Stan Hatcher was exiled to Miami, home of
David Caruso's current TV persona? Coincidence? You decide.
*I spied a bit of blonde (looked like a wig) hair in Andy's bed and heard a
faint, female cry of annoyance when the phone rang. I issued a rather less
faint female cry of annoyance at that and wondered why Andy couldn't have been
instead laying in a supply of 2am diapers when his cell phone rang.
*Medavoy! A little action for him tonight. He handled Larry perfectly. When
Larry asked, "Why am I not a player?" I expected Greg to respond, "Because I'm
not a player, and it takes one to know one."
*I'm also very happy Greg was not impressed by Larry's claim to have dumped a
Hooter's waitress. (Is that supposed to be impressive?)
*I am now terrified of AA people. Why wouldn't they believe him? For a minute
there, I thought Andy was stuck in an episode of Green Acres.
*Theo is 8, and Andy's never heard of Jessica Simpson. Is that possible? How
about this, Andy's partner is 28, and Andy's never heard of Jessica Simpson.
Hell, Andy's 50, Connie's 30 and....oh forget it.
CAST LEGACIES by Jiffy Lube Garner who says: J.L. (nope, not Jerry Lewis)
Garner:
Previously on NYPD Blue:
Scott Allan Campbell as Martens, Scott William Winters as Stan Hatcher, Michael
Potter as Chief Don Hatcher.
Previously on NYPD Blue as someone else:
Mari Weiss (Norma) -- played a doctor in Season 5's "It Takes a Village." Since
then, she's also been on "X-Files," "City of Angels," and a lot of voice work
for cartoons and video games
Joe Maruzzo (Burt Suervo) -- appeared in Season 6's "Raphael's Inferno" and
Season 4's "Unembraceable You." He also played Joe Peeps on "The Sopranos," and
had a role in the recent season premiere of "Enterprise"
Not previously on NYPD Blue:
Ed O'Ross (Scott Garvin) -- character actor whose TV credits include "The
Handler," "Six Feet Under," "Chicago Hope," "Seinfeld," "Frasier," and the
cartoon show "Men In Black." He's also appeared in movies like "Dick Tracy"
(Itchy), "Full Metal Jacket" (Lt. Touchdown), "Lethal Weapon," and "The Cotton
Club"
Dean Hill (Al) -- he's played on "JAG," "ER," "L.A. Law," and "Night Court," as
well as a role in Jack Nicholson's "Chinatown" sequel "The Two Jakes," and as
one of the Illinois Nazis in "The Blues Brothers"
Fitz Houston (Chuck) -- you've seen him on "JAG," "Robbery Homicide Division,"
"Philly," "Judging Amy," "Seinfeld," and "X-Files"Brian Goodman (Mickey Cole)
-- has appeared on "24," "Boomtown," and "Line of Fire," as well as the films
"Catch Me If You Can," "The Last Castle," and "Blow"
Richard Fancy (Howard Seigal) -- he's got a very long resume, including roles
on "General Hospital" and "It's Garry Shandling's Show," guest spots on "The
District," "West Wing," "ER," "ST: Voyager," 'L.A. Law," and "ST: Next
Generation," and roles in the films "The Girl Next Door," "Being John
Malkovich," "Nixon," "And the Band Played On," and "Tango & Cash"
Samaire Armstrong (Christine) -- she's had a recurring role on "The O.C.," as
well as guest spots on "Judging Amy," "X-Files," and "ER," and a role in "Not
Another Teen Movie"
Samantha Smith (Corrine O'Malley) -- other roles include guest appearances on
"Dead Like Me," "Philly," "Just Shoot Me," "Dark Angel," and "The Pretender"
Tony Colitti (Larry Mytelka) -- he's appeared on "Monk," "Nip/Tuck," "Judging
Amy," 'Seinfeld," "L.A. Law," "China Beach," and "thirtysomething"
Jonah Hill (clerk) -- has a role in the new film "I Heart Huckabees"
Cheryl Francis Harrington (receptionist) -- had a recurring role as a bailiff
on "Philly," as well as roles on "Boston Public," "X-Files," "The District,"
"The Sheild," and "L.A. Law"
Jamie Foss (female friend) -- she was the winner of The WB's "Superstar USA," a
sort of Bizarro-world spoof of American Idol, where the worst performer wins,
but is made to labor under the delusion that they can actually sing.
LINES OF THE WEEK:
Junior, in a slut glut but confidently remembering the blonde: "Yeah, I
remember. Her name was Corrine." (pause) "Or Collette."
Hatcher introducing his girl-child friend: "Andy Sipowicz, Jessica Simpson."
Andy: "How do you do?"
NEXT WEEK: Andy beats the crap out of a couple of politicians, Clark sleeps
with the old first lady, the new first lady and four political daughters in
43.4 minutes, and Phone John is elected president.
THE WEEK AFTER: Blue returns November 9th with the first post-election 2004
episode.
Get out and vote!
(Unless you're not an American, in which case, I vote you have a nice day)
And everyone, visit Alan's site:
http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~sepinwal/nypd.html
Thanks!
Amanda Wilson